I am doing a little spring-cleaning and tiding of my files, folders and emails, not so much to free the computer’s memory (which is infinite for all practical purposes), but rather to retrieve what was actually important in them. Among the several sketched novels, unwritten tales, unfinished scientific papers, and unsent love letters, I am amazed and amused by the amount of brief messages and notes that day-by-day I sent myself over an timespan of several years, and that infest almost every corner of my computer.
Scared of not being able of retaining pieces of information that he deems important, the myself-of-today constantly harasses the myself-of-tomorrow with plentiful messages, burdening him with the duties he was not able to tackle himself. Like a stalker, the myself-of-today chases the myself-of-tomorrow in every new environment: while some years ago he would only leave notes that opened up when logging into the computer, and that could easily be done with with CTRL+Q, now the myself-of-today attacks from all angles, sending emails, SMS messages, saving pdf files with SCREAMING.pdf titles on the Desktop, and even leaving hand-written notes (I found some in the wallet!). This is obviously unsustainable.
Fact is that emails accumulate (over 200 unread, most from myself-of-yesterday), the SMS inbox is always full, and SCREAMING.pdf files are sent to the TOREAD folder (one of many TOREAD folders, one nested into another…).
On the other hand, the myself-of-today is a real asshole. That’s because he constantly makes promises to the myself-of-yesterday: yes of course I will look at this, I will do that, let’s be friends etc. The day after, he forgets, he procrastinates, and finally when enough time has passed he’s done with the myself-of-several-weeks-ago.
However, the myself-of-today, as a real bitch, knows perfectly well that if he wants to maintain any power on the myself-of-yesterday and on all his ancestors, every once in a while he should give him some consideration, just the little amount it takes so that the myself-of-yesterday sticks to the grand project that the myself-of-today has, keeping well in mind that such project will soon be surpassed by the one of the myself-of-tomorrow…
In all this, somehow the myself-of-several-years-ago managed to insert some messages into bottles that floated into a sea of bits and bytes of my computer. They often get lost, but somehow some of them run ashore. Most of them contain silly or unreadable messages (“It is interesting to note that he starts from considerations about gravity. In the beginning I’m hoping for a connection of gravity to the whole story, but it’s only about Etere”), but some are full of surprises, suggestions, things that I should have thought about and that, indeed, I should have thought about.
The myself-of-right-now, right now, has the crazy idea came of keeping a permanent inventory of all the unfinished things, the aborted projects (most for good reasons…), the good and bad ideas. Let’s see what the myself-of-tomorrow will say.